Lovely and Lost

Misadventures in Dating and Figuring it all out

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My Heart Belongs in Seattle

It had been a long day of work and I was very expressive about my need for a quiet night in. I was relaxing on the couch around 10pm enjoying a bit of sake when I got the call. “__insert my name__, I hate to ask because I know you were really looking forward to a night in, but by chance, don’t be mad, can you fly out to Seattle at 6am?” My heart leapt for joy. I love adventure and thrive in the unknown. Plus, Seattle would be another check off my bucket list. A weekend in Seattle on the company, heck yes!

I started packing immediately and with a couple hours of sleep headed to the airport for the long flight to Seattle. Lucky for me I got my favorite spot, a window seat in economy comfort and was able to rotating sleeping and listening to the book Divergent. The flight literally flew right back and next thing I knew my eyes were saucers as I gazed out the window staring in awe at the scenery. 

As soon as I landed it was all business. I drove to my destination and it took all of my might to keep my eyes on the road. The weather was a perfect 65, it was sunny, lush, and green. Oh my heart aches to remember. After business I headed downtown to check into my hotel and find food and wine stat!

I checked in my hotel and then stumbled upon the Purple Cafe and Wine Bar where I enjoyed a delicious malbec accompanied by mouthwatering crab cakes. I didn’t get much of a chance to wander before I headed by to my room to freshen up for the evening for dinner and drinks with a friend from college. 

We headed down to the water and I was falling deeper in love with the city as the moments passed. We landed at this quaint winery called The Tasting Room. Mismatched chairs & a wide selection of wine… I was won over immediately. 

Next hunger was taking over so we climbed what seemed like an infinite amount of stairs and stumbled into Lecōsho. The charcuterie and grilled octopus were mmmmm… indescribable and this is where I had my first Moscow Mule. Was it still just infatuation? 

Now it was time to get a little risqué. I had never been to a burlesque club before, but was determined to have my first experience. We went to Can Can Castaways and had the most fantastic time. The drinks were flowing, the ring leader was hilarious and sexy, and the dancers were phenomenal. I also may or may not have blatantly hit on the main man after telling him repeatedly how attractive he was. Oops. 

Starving again and running on empty our last stop of the night was Boka. I gobbled up a chickpea burger and fries, then was ready for bed. I trekked back up the hill, said goodnight to my friend, and was off to sleep. 

The next day we were at it again. Fighting our hangovers we somehow made it to Harbor City Barbecue in China Town and stuff our faces. With a mouth full of dim sum and a belly full of tea I was starting to finally recover.

 ABubble tea followed and we were off to the Seattle Art Museum. Prefaced by a bottle of wine of course ;) Did I mention I love art? It was a blast!

As the day got longer we headed to Pike Place Market to mosey around the fresh food, flowers, and for me to do a little shopping. I found this amazing one-of-a-kind handmade necklace from an old pocket watch that I instantly fell for. After a pretty penny it was time to freshen up for dinner. 

It was a bit of a trek, but the journey to Revel was well worth it. With a smoked oyster pancake and dandan noodle, my mind was back in Seoul. This is by far one of the best Korean fusion places I have been to stateside and will definitely be making an appearance again. It was especially fun sitting kitchen side and watching the chefs flurry in front of us. After we were completely exhausted though and it was time to hit the hay. 

A must mention from the day is a quick stop into Rachel’s Ginger Beer. This is a trendy ginger beer shop with tons of flavors downtown and a definite recommendation for a daytime Moscow Mule. 

The next morning I headed downtown with my umbrella to do a little more shopping and meandering about. I bought a few presents and of course had a few oysters at Pike Place.

However a lunch of bloody mary’s, screwdrivers, octopus, and a variety of oysters was unavoidable at Ballard Annex Oyster House. I mean, you can never have too much seafood in Seattle (especially when you’re stuck in the midwest). 

As foodies we needed one more stop as my trip drew to a close. We barely fit into this closet, also known as Ocho and it was well well worth it. The drinks the bartender was inventing with absinthe weren’t too shabby, the food was phenomenal, and the cherry on top was my favorite warning label on the menu. 

Sadly, this was the end. I headed back to my hotel, shamelessly hit on the doorman (shocker), and headed up to my room to pack. A few hours later I was off to the airport and sadly heading back to the midwest.

However, my sea legs grew strong and I decided Seattle is where I want to live next. If all goes according to plan at the end of the summer I’ll be heading out west for a fabulous life downtown, hiking on the weekends, and all the seafood my heart could desire <3 Wish me luck!

Filed under Seattle Washington Love work travel wine malbec purple cafe the tasting room moscow mule can can castaways Lecōsho lecosho burlesque Boka SAM Seattle Art Museum pike place market Rachel's Ginger Beer oysters ballard annex oyster house ocho absinthe revel korean fusion harbor city barbeque china town dim sum

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New York, New York!

Soon after Cali, I headed out to NYC on business. Oddly enough I’m usually not too excited for this trip. Don’t get me wrong, I love all forms of travel, but this trip is usually all business and very little pleasure. 

Soon as we flew in it was straight to work and I was counting down the minutes for some fun. After we escaped, we braved the storm and ended up at Twins Pub for a delicious Yuengling. My boss failed to mention that beer would only make my oncoming sickness worse as a continuously sneezed after 2 beers. Hey! It was New York and I was going to have fun sick or not. Later we ended up at my favorite place in little Italy, Da Gennaro Restaurant. The wine, gnocchi, and beef was mind-blowing. Not ready to call it a night, half of us jumped in a cab to head out to one of my fav bars overlooking the city. After my coworkers called me crazy thinking I was taking them into a nightclub, they stood in aw at the tall windows from 230 Fifth and gazed out onto the city lights. We even headed up to the roof for a quick glance until we started to freeze our butts off. This place is great, but definitely a summer hang out when the patio is not a sheet of ice. 

Death may have started to warm over the next day, but I was pushing through. Working all day on my feet with no voice and I still had to laugh at the men hitting on me (I hear the raspy voice did me well). After work we headed to El Quijote Restaurant for dinner and a wonderful sangria and my first time experiencing paella (which I’d definitely go for again). Mmmmmm!

After my coworker and roommate for the trip snuck out with me and we attempted to get into PDT (Please Don’t Tell). It’s supposed to be a super trendy, super tiny, speakeasy type bar that you get to through a phone booth in a hot dog shop. We waited for hours at a local bar and by time they finally called we were ready to head home. However, while we waited we discovered a few new spots. Ten Degrees Bistro is a local spot with a dark atmosphere, brick wall interior, and a beat pumping through the speakers. Definitely recommended for a pregame drink and if you’re meeting up with your college ex (of 2x) and his friend who live in the area haha. It was actually a really fun time and there was no pressure or awkwardness. His friend was a hit as well and actually did some sort of slam poetry in the middle of the next bar Bru. Midnight had passed and we had to work early so it was back to the Grand Hyatt at Central Station. 

Another full day of work and I was definitely nearing death. However, you know I couldn’t refuse a delicious duck pasta with my team and then an invitation to catch up with my ex. Our intentions were to go out, but we ended up drinking some wine, watching How I Met Your Mother and cuddling like old times. However, this time the only thing he was going to get from me was kisses. He serenaded me with the guitar and even played a tune he had written for me when we dated. Come on now, you know you’d swoon to that at least a bit. Furthermore, I had made him a bracelet that he put on his guitar and it was still there years later. I actually give myself props for not giving into this seduction. 

The next day was my last and exhausting. I was nearly crying in the bathroom at the airport because I was in so much pain from being sick. Lucky for me our plane was empty and I had my own row to immediately make a bed and fall fast asleep. 

Somewhere in there we also went to 2nd Ave Deli (a must for the matzo ball soup alone). The potato pierogen is also making my mouth water just thinking about it. The first night we also crashed a local industry party. We literally just strolled right in after the security died down. As we kept sneaking deeper into all the party all I could think is, “What’s the worst that could happen? They ask us to leave?” I continually repeated this to my coworker who looked petrified and it ended up being a fun time, merely for the sneaking in portion. We also met one of our biggest competitors and it turns out our companies are actually building a great friendship now. Who would’ve thought? 

Oh New York, minus your freezing temps, how I’m missing city life. 

Filed under New York New York City NYC travel traveling business Twins Pub Yuengling Little Italy Da Gennaro restaurant wine gnocchi 230 Fifth El Quijote paella sneaking out PDT please don't tell Ten Degrees exes relationships Bru Grand Hyatt Central Station HIMYM serenade swoon seduction 2nd Avenue Deli

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Anaheim & Palm Springs, California

It has been a busy couple months of business travel for me. Lets start with California. 

Anaheim & Palm Springs, California

I was loving the sunshine. I flew in and we headed to downtown Disney for dinner and soon a crowd gathered round. We were trying to figure out who it could be until I saw the one and only 90s wannabe Aaron Carter. We later passed him on the street and it was as if nothing had changed. Ripped jeans, basketball jersey, and flat bill hat haha. After my brush with a C lister things got even better as we got to go to Disney Land! It was my first time and a blast! Oh, and I almost forgot “Vanessa” from Gossip Girl was on my flight into L.A. =P

The following day I drove to the beautiful land of Palm Springs to work an event. Lucky me it turns out the local military staffed the entire event. Talk about eye candy from wall to wall. The day flew by staring at these hunky men. 

And the next day was even better. After work we caught the late ticket to California Adventure. After a bottle of wine we were screaming and falling down the Tower of Terror. We laughed so hard we cried running around like children and savoring the secrets of our exploits outside business hours. 

The following night I was lucky enough to head to Marina del Ray and enjoy the wonderfulness that is Sugarfish sushi. If you’re ever in the area it’s a definite recommendation. After I met up with my Russian friend that I taught with in Seoul. It was great to see her again and catch up on the past years events. 

My team flew out early which left me catching the redeye alone the next night. I was at the airport bar and I spotted a very good looking guy sitting at the bar chatting with a woman. Lucky for me this woman left to catch her flight and after a 9 ounce pour of wine I sent over a napkin with the start of a tic-tac-toe game and “your turn ;).” Lucky for me he was extremely amused and was soon at my table. Turns out he was on standby for my flight and unfortunately never made it on. Didn’t stop me from exchanging numbers with this Wisconsin cutie though =P

Oh California, take me back. Our adventures would be priceless. 

Filed under california Palm Springs anaheim travel love sunshine downtown disney aaron carter vanessa gossip girl military eye candy california adventure wine marina del ray sugarfish seoul old friends redeye airport bar pick up pick up lines

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The Fisherman

I’ve been so swamped it’s been nearly a month and I miss my writing dearly! We’ve got a lot to go over so lets get started!

Once a week a girlfriend and I have started going out for a bottle of red and a rare fillet. After we head over to the local bar for pool and have a blast playing terribly and shooting down the guys. The first time we managed to get two guys thrown out (for hassling us to let them play with us, and hey we were paying for the table!), free shots, and drinks from the bouncer. Ultimately it was a great night. 

The next weekend we ended up on the dance floor with two charming, yet more so off the grid, type guys. In their outdoors boots and boyish grins, they were endearing.. and we were well.. drunk haha. After many more drinks we all went back to my place for more drinks, BLTs, and a movie (no funny business I swear). We all laughed and drunkenly recanted our favorite parts of the night. The fisherman, my guy, had hit on me with the line, “I’ve been watching you all night” and we all found this hysterical. To give him credit he followed up with how beautiful he thought I was and he sounded genuine so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. The night led into cuddles with our men, I made out with mine, and we talked the majority of the night with him being very respectful. In the morning we all went to brunch and the fisherman even paid, score! We exchanged numbers we promised plans. 

The next weekend my girlfriend and I went out to his place for a double date. We had drinks, played pool, and eventually piled into a jeep to head out to a party in a tent on a frozen lake for snowmobilers. It was memorable to say the least. My friend and I squealed with delight as we jumped over snow mounds, climbed on the jeep, and drank whiskey straight from the bottle. These were not our typical highfalutinmen and we were having a blast. A great night ended in bed with the fisherman, giggles and groping. 

The next week the fisherman planned a proper date. I was to come over his house where he would cook me dinner before I left for NYC on business. He had beautiful flowers for me, made a mind-blowing chicken tortilla soup and paired it with a delicious Malbec. I was impressed to say the least. We snuggled on the couch listening to music, talking, and continually bursting into laugher. I think this may have been when he confessed he had been a professional cyclist for many years traveling the world for the U.S. team. He had been everywhere I traveled and to so many more places. He was down to earth, yet cultured. What could go wrong? 

After I returned, we planned a date at my place. He brought the ingredients and I provided the sake for the homemade sushi we were going to make. The cooking, the sake, the laughing, the cuddling, it really was fantastic. I believe this is when I was made fully aware of his intentions. In a month or two him and one of his buddies would be leaving to travel for the next year. You’ve got to be, excuse my French, fucking kidding me. I find a decent guy who’s actually doing it right and it turns out he’s the one that’s leaving. SHIT. 

Insert upcoming story about me going on a date with an insane premed student (next post to come) to try to not get so attached to the fisherman. 

So yesterday I was supposed to meet the fisherman for dinner, at his insistence, and after waiting for a table and then calling, it turns out he had passed out and accidentally set his alarm for am not pm. He apologized and begged to come over and apologize, that I didn’t even have to let him in. He continually rang and cursed himself for being such a dick and the lowest of the low over text. The damage was done though and I was already mortified. I had wasted the time getting ready, was exhausted myself, waited for the table, and left alone. I felt like such an idiot. Today he is still continually apologizing and saying how terrible he is and don’t get me wrong I understand mistakes happen. This one just happened to especially suck for me. As he begs for a second chance and to make it up to me I don’t know what to say. I don’t know why he’s so insistent with him leaving so soon and to be honest i was a little relieved I could be pissed at him and think of him as flawed. Then maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad when he left. Ugh. Guys suck. I don’t know whether to avoid him or see him again. Help!

Filed under fisherman dating first dates relationships sake pick up lines i've been watching you all night dancing drinking shots cuddling brunch cooking impressed flowers malbec cyclist home made sushi stood up second chance advice help

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Cancer Scare

So… the OB called back to let me know that my tests were not regular. I was so come in for an immediate biopsy and I was terrified. I immediately went straight into the office and proceeded to hyperventilate most of the time. She told me they just wanted to take a closer look at the cervix and if it wasn’t a big deal they wouldn’t even do a biopsy. 

After very uncomfortably moving around and examining me I heard her, “We’re going to do the biopsy now.” 

I then jumped to the next level of being petrified. 

I’ve been waiting for my test results oh so impatiently as it would be one of three scenarios: 

  1. All was well
  2. Low grade precancerous cells
  3. High grade precancerous cells

They finally called back today and I begged for them to tell me over the phone because I’d be leaving on business soon. Turns out I’ve opened door number 2. I held it together until I found out I could spend the rest of the day working at home and then lost it. 

Could be better, could be worse. It’s good they caught it early before it turned into cancer, but when people start throwing around the “c” word it’s immediate panic. Glass half full I’ll have to go into the office for so many sessions for them to freeze/burn/something the cells to kill them essentially. They’ll keep checking often afterwards to make sure nothing comes back, but to be honest I’m still scared. 

Feeling grateful, yet still scared…

Filed under OB obgyn gynocologist cancer precancerous biopsy terrified scared

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My Awkward Trip to the Gyno: Boys Stop Reading Now

1. First, it’s always awkward getting ready for a gyno appointment. Do I shave down below for her, is that awkward, is it awkward if I don’t and just let that shit run wild? Do I shave my legs? Is it awkward if they have a winter coat on them? Is it strange if they’re silky smooth? Now obviously I shower, but what do I wear? Should I dress like I’m going to an 8am college class or a business meeting? The initial questions are always almost enough to stop me from going. 

2. I’m sitting in the office and the previous patient walks out, tells me to “have a good time” and starts singing about putting your feet in the stirrups and getting back in the saddle. OMG I’m starting to lose it at this point. 

3. The doctor then asks a series of questions. 

  • When did you become sexually active? 18
  • How many partners have you had? 7
  • Did you get the Gardasil shot? No

She then responds telling me if I’ve been with that many people I really need to get the shot. Is it just me or I thought I was on the low end? Basically my doctor thinks I’m a floozy. 

4. Then my doctor asked if I was “getting any.” I assumed she meant sex and started giggling and muttered no. She made a comment that made no sense to the context so I asked her to repeat the question. Turns out she wasn’t asking about my sex life, but if I was still getting a period with my Mirena…awkward silence ensues. 

5. As she’s poking around my hot pocket I tried to make small talk about how long she’s been at her practice. She then starts to go on about how awkward that would be because then I could then infer her age. I had to clearly point out that she couldn’t feel anymore awkward than I did at that current moment…

6. I finally thought I had escaped this situation, but no, just wait, there’s more. I had to pick up a script from my pharmacy to balance out bacteria (nothing serious) and of course I went through the drive through to spend as little time as possible there picking up my vag cream. The lady at the window says she’ll be with me in a second and I wait… until a stunningly gorgeous young man decides to stop and help me get my prescription. OMG humiliation ensues. I may never be able to show my face in this pharmacy again… when will the humiliation end. 

I have some serious making up to do in the social and ego building department this weekend…

Filed under gyno gynocologist ob obgyn vagina awkward doctor dr gardasil floozy skank get some getting any sex period mirena hot pocket humiliation gif social ego

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My Lifetime Movie Family Update

Well I was really trying to be nice to my mom, but she basically killed that when I found out she moved in with and had been secretly dating the man that had nakedly, drunkenly, and belligerently threatened my sister. He had also called my gay brother a “faggot” and she told him to deal with it and get over it. At last I hit my final straw. I told her she made her bed and now she had to lie in it. We were to no longer talk. We then had a followup conversation two weeks later as she kept calling and leaving voicemails like nothing had ever happened. 

She kept randomly calling, but I didn’t answer and she stopped leaving voicemails. Until this weekend that is. During work I got a pleasant, up beat message, “Hi! Call me back. I miss you. I’ve got exciting news…I’m moving to Florida!” 

Later I attended church (I needed a little Jesus after that call and a near panic attack) and called her back after. She couldn’t understand why we couldn’t have a relationship and I couldn’t be happy for her. She kept saying she finally had an opportunity to move to Florida (across the county) and when I asked what that opportunity was there was no response. There wasn’t a job opportunity or a new place to live, it was just leaving. I tried to explain to her that I’d do anything to protect my brother and sister and she was doing quite the opposite. She talked in circles and I kept telling her I wished her the best, loved her, and would continue to pray for her. Nothing hit home and I truly hope one day it will. I am realizing that I can’t keep trying to fix her. I need to worry about me and protecting my brother and sister. For the sake of my sanity, our relationship is no more…

Filed under lifetime lifetime movie family drama mom faggot assault threatened dating nakedly drunkenly belligerently final straw church Jesus panic attack relationship quotes hard control save yourself sanity

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Procrastinating on 2014 Resolutions

So January is nearly over and I still haven’t nailed down any specific resolutions. The problem isn’t that I don’t have any, it’s that I want it ALL. I want to further my education, work out more, read more, excel in the workplace, travel more, spend more time with my friends, spend more time with my family, yada yada yada. Essentially there is just not enough time in the day to do it all so I’m trying to prioritize without spreading myself too thin. 

In 2013 I bought my own home, so I know I needed a new “reach for the stars” goal in 2014. I think I’ve narrowed it down to two ideas.

1. Go back to school for my MBA. Pro: Furthering my education and knowledge of my field of work. Can’t hurt my resume as well if I ever switch jobs. Cons: This will be very costly and take 2-3 years.  

2. Start learning Spanish. Pro: Again furthering my education and also a good resume builder. Plus I have a passion for foreign languages and it’d be nice to actually commit to learning one. Cons: Not as costly as an MBA, but will still take money. It’s also a skill that you’ll lose if you don’t use which makes me nervous. 

Opinions and advice are welcomed via messages as I’m at a bit of a crossroads. FYI I plan on doing this all while working 50-60 hour weeks, seeing family, seeing friends, and occasionally hitting the gym while keeping a healthy diet. If I keel over or lose it you’ll know why haha

Filed under 2014 january new years resolutions resolutions procrastinate procrastination procrastinator goals i want it all education working out reading work travel family friends time reach for the stars mba spanish opinions advice crossroads

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Amazing Book Recommendation

I think I’m going to start keeping a list of all my reads with a 1-10 rating system. This book is definitely a 10 and a great read for anyone looking for a good laugh =)

Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson

“I can finally see that all the terrible parts of my life, the embarrassing parts, the incidents I wanted to pretend never happened, and the things that make me “weird” and “different,” were actually the most important parts of my life. They were the parts that made me ME.” 
― Jenny LawsonLet’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

Filed under Let's Pretend this Never Happened Jenny Lawson Books reading memoirs loving it quotes inspirational me